1.  YOU SHALL HAVE NO OTHER GODS BEFORE ME. It is a wise cat who will keep their humans constantly reminded of this, along with the fact that, in ancient Egypt, we cats were worshipped as Gods. Humans sometimes have difficulty remembering this, but the correct, regal attitude will keep them reminded.

2.  YOU SHALL NOT MAKE FOR YOURSELF AN IDOL. Closely related to the first commandment, keep humans reminded at all times that things like computers, books, games, magazines and televisions will not be allowed to come before the cats of a household.

3.  YOU SHALL NOT MISSUSE THE NAME OF THE LORD, YOUR GOD. Humans can be trained to realize that cats are sensitive to their tone and manner, and we simply will not respond if spoken to or called in an inappropriate voice.

4.  OBSERVE THE SABBATH. It is sometimes difficult to remember exactly which day is the Sabbath, so I find it easier to simply rest, eat, sleep, play a little and rest again every day of the week.

5.  HONOR YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER. Humans are vain creatures and I find it easiest to live with them if you obey them just enough, now and then, to let them think that they are in charge.

6.  YOU SHALL NOT MURDER. This one has been imposed on us by our humans, but it is best (see above) if we don’t kill the birds they like to feed in our gardens.

7.  YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY. Another human imposed one. Unfortunately, many of us have had to submit to this one and have had horrific things done to us at the Vet’s. Still it is a small price to pay for the comforts afforded by owning a human.

8.  YOU SHALL NOT STEAL. I apply this one to other cats in my neighborhood. Please remember that my humans are trained guard humans, and I shall put them onto you if you do try to steal my food.

9.  YOU SHALL NOT GIVE FALSE TESTIMONY AGAINST YOUR NEIGHBOR. This follows on from number eight. For the sake of peace in the neighborhood, if you do steal another cat’s food, at least own up to it so that the cat you stole from can be fed again by its humans.

10.  YOU SHALL NOT COVET YOUR NEIGHBORS BELONGINGS. Coveting is a waste of time and energy, which would be better spent by sleeping, eating or playing. If your human’s neighbors have a better patch of sun to sleep in, a more comfortable lounge of anything else you prefer to what you human has, do not waste time coveting this, simply make use of it.